Danielle 17 days, 21 hours ago

@clairecho1121 - Thank you so much for sharing this. Posting something so deeply personal is another example of allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You share a sentiment here that I hear so often. Many people are not looking for advice, especially that kind of advice that says "buck up and push through". There are so many phrases that those who care about us often use because they feel helpless to "fix" the problem for you or don't know what else to say. Most do not understand how insensitive they come across or how isolating those words can be. Those phrases you mentioned, "get over it" and "you're too sensitive" can be especially hard to hear, especially when it took so much courage to share your inner-most struggles with anyone else. What we all need to remember is that everyone is wired differently and everyone has had different life experiences. What may truly be no big deal to one person, could be a seriously hurtful situation to someone else. What is never helpful is telling another person how to feel. That will almost always cause further hurt and sometimes resentment. I have heard from so many people that often, what makes them feel heard the most, is when someone just allows them to tell their story or vent without sharing opinions or advice. A simple validating statement like, "I'm sorry that was so hard for you," or "I can see how emotional you are sharing something so difficult," helps create a safe space. I was very interested in your statement that healing doesn't necessarily mean you stop hurting. I'd love to hear more from you and others about this. Should we ever expect pain to become less or go away?How long should we "sit with the hurt" before we reach out to professionals to see if there are other techniques that can help ? Thank you for sharing such deeply personal insights. I look forward to more of your input and that of others.

clairecho1121 16 days, 15 hours ago

Thank you so much Danielle, for taking the time to read my post and for such a thoughtful response. When I said that healing doesn’t necessarily mean you stop hurting, I mean it doesn’t always mean reaching a point where something no longer hurts. To me, it means reaching a point where the hurt no longer controls how I live. I think some experiences may always carry a certain amount of tough feelings, especially when they meant something deep. But over time, we can learn how to carry that pain differently. We can acknowledge it without letting it define us, and we can continue to experience happiness and growth alongside it. For me, healing has become less about “getting over” something and more about learning how to live with what happened while continuing to move forward. I think that can look different for everyone, which is why I really appreciate your point that we are all wired differently and have different life experiences. I personally don’t think there needs to be a certain threshold of pain that someone has to reach or endure before seeking professional help. Whether it's big or small, if it's affecting you or you feel you could benefit from having someone help you process it, I think reaching out to a professional is completely valid and might be worth exploring. This discussion makes me realize I'm very curious about how others know if they're healing. How would you define healing? What does healing mean to them?

Danielle 14 days, 3 hours ago

@clairecho1121 - Thank you so much for this explanation. I love this statement: "healing has become less about 'getting over' something and more about learning how to live with what happened while continuing to move forward." That's a really healthy management technique, especially when thinking about trauma. I am also looking forward to seeing how other users answer your questions.

Danielle 11 days, 4 hours ago

Thank you for sharing this perspective, @ekaye ! In our second roundtable conversation, we discuss the impact of social media and while, we acknowledge that there are definitely some benefits that come from stories shared on social, we talked a lot about ways that social and technology can be harmful, such as glamorizing harmful trends, like looksmaxxing, non-professionals providing inaccurate information on medication or mental illness symptoms and diagnoses, or causing viewers to believe that their situation isn't "bad enough" to warrant help after seeing so many people that "have it worse." You highlight a clear benefit that can be found in responsible use of social media. What advice can you give others on how to navigate the digital space to find content that is helpful and sift out that with is not?

ekaye 6 days, 7 hours ago

Hi Danielle, thank you for your reply! Social media can expose people to a spectrum of content, both good and bad, that can shift how they perceive their own struggles. One thing I think is important to recognize is that social media, or any space that allows people to share their stories about mental health, can be a great tool for fostering community; however, I don’t think it can be relied on as a substitute for professional help. For me, social media was most helpful when I used it to hear other people’s experiences and feel less alone, rather than treating their experiences as professional advice. I think it’s important to remember that what works for one person may not work for everyone, especially when it comes to sensitive topics surrounding mental health. A good rule of thumb when consuming media online is to look at the credentials of people giving mental health advice and to back up the information they provide with reputable sources to help filter out misinformation. Social media can be an amazing place to find community and gain exposure to different management techniques, but I think it is healthiest to use people’s stories as a supplemental space for connection and support rather than a replacement for professional guidance.

Danielle 4 days, 23 hours ago

That is great advice @ekaye ! i wish we knew how to teach that philosophy to everyone, as you are so right that hearing others' stories can help people feel less alone, but without reviewing credentials, too many users fall victim to online trends for quick fixes that may be unsafe or just unfounded...